riding the short bus.

does anyone truly know what it is to be special? some think it has something to do with helmets and short buses. others think it's talent. others still are just convinced by what their mother told them. me? i never thought i was special, until i came down with a super-rare, totally fun disease.

it's called henoch-schonlein purpura. that's hen-ick-shawn-line per-per-uh. or HSP, if you want to be complicated. it's mainly a pediatric disease, and fairly rare then. to get it as an adult? well, let's just say you have to be very special, as i was diagnosed on may 11th. i've always been unique (weird.), and perhaps even a bit special (helmet.) but i never, ever, thought i'd get one of those one-in-a-million, no-cure, no-treatment, you're-pretty-much-fucked-if-it-turns-on-you illnesses. i thought i'd get boring old cancer, like everyone else.

the most unique trait of this unique disease is it's inability to decided what it wants to do. the only symptom that seems to be constant in everyone is the pupura, which is an insane bursting of blood vessels beneath your skin. usually they stick to the legs, but sometimes they're, you know, anywhere else. me personally, over the past 2 weeks i've had them everywhere but my back, forearms, and face. yeah, that includes the bottom of my feet. been there. been spotted. other non-specific symptoms include, but are naturally not limited to, joint inflammation, abdominal pain, and kidney problems. do you see how broad those three terms are? sometimes people don't even get those. and sometimes people get all of them.

like me. nothing too severe in the joint and abdominal categories, those come and go, and aren't too bad. the kidney category, though, has jumped into the spotlight. and as an adult with HSP, i am typical for that. as of this writing, i have absolutely no clue what is wrong with my kidney. i didn't go plural on that because lefty hurts the most, and i think righty is only aching from being overly active. my ailment, so far, is TBD. last week they thought it was an infection, but after a week on keflex and a trip back to the ER (that's my 5th trip in a month.) they determined that it is not an infection. in my kidney anyway. i have an infection somewhere! a pretty bad one, at that. but nobody knows where yet. and my kidney still hurts, and nobody knows why. also, i was given four (FOUR) shots of dilaudid, which is a pain killer stronger than morphine, within 5 hours, and had no break in pain, no real response at all. a week ago a single shot of the same drug turned me into a blubbering idiot for about 8 hours, and i felt no pain.

as a fan of the show "house," i am intrigued by the fact that i could be an episode! also by hugh laurie's sexiness. but that's another blog...

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