The Kidney Boulder That Wouldn't Quit

Ode to my kidney stone

Vital organ,
so much trouble,
large stone - normal?
No, double. 
Size matters 
in this case.
A boulder cannot 
be erased. 
But it can be broken up with a fucking laser shoved up my pee-hole. 

*takes a bow*

Whilst in an incredible amount of pain for the last month or so, I remain cheerful. Probably that has something to do with all the drugs - or, as the doctors call it, "Pain Management." While not a huge fan of narcotics, I have been using them abundantly lately. Soon enough I'll have the surgery to remove this... fucking... thing. It's the size of a dime. In doctor-speak, it's "HUGE."

I was put on this "pain management" after my fourth trip to the ER for said kidney stone. Guess they got tired of seeing me. So instead of getting intravenous injections of heavy narcotics every week or so, I take them daily in pill form.

I used to ask why this crap is always happening to me, but I've lately learned not to question it. Probably this nonchalant attitude is also thanks to drugs.

My surgeon yelled at me to quit smoking and lose 17 pounds. so in addition to all that is going on around me, I'm dieting and want a fucking cigarette AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!